To
the gods I am indebted for having good grandfathers, good parents, a
good sister, good teachers, good associates, good kinsmen and
friends, nearly everything good. Further, I owe it to the gods that I
was not hurried into any offence against any of them, though I had a
disposition which, if opportunity had offered, might have led me to
do something of this kind; but, through their favour, there never was
such a concurrence of circumstances as put me to the trial. Further,
I am thankful to the gods that I was not longer brought up with my
grandfather's concubine, and that I preserved the flower of my youth,
and that I did not make proof of my virility before the proper
season, but even deferred the time; that I was subjected to a ruler
and a father who was able to take away all pride from me, and to
bring me to the knowledge that it is possible for a man to live in a
palace without wanting either guards or embroidered dresses, or
torches and statues, and such-like show; but that it is in such a
man's power to bring himself very near to the fashion of a private
person, without being for this reason either meaner in thought, or
more remiss in action, with respect to the things which must be done
for the public interest in a manner that befits a ruler. I thank the
gods for giving me such a brother, who was able by his moral
character to rouse me to vigilance over myself, and who, at the same
time, pleased me by his respect and affection; that my children have
not been stupid nor deformed in body; that I did not make more
proficiency in rhetoric, poetry, and the other studies, in which I
should perhaps have been completely engaged, if I had seen that I was
making progress in them; that I made haste to place those who brought
me up in the station of honour, which they seemed to desire, without
putting them off with hope of my doing it some time after, because
they were then still young; that I knew Apollonius, Rusticus,
Maximus; that I received clear and frequent impressions about living
according to nature, and what kind of a life that is, so that, so far
as depended on the gods, and their gifts, and help, and inspirations,
nothing hindered me from forthwith living according to nature, though
I still fall short of it through my own fault, and through not
observing the admonitions of the gods, and, I may almost say, their
direct instructions; that my body has held out so long in such a kind
of life; that I never touched either Benedicta or Theodotus, and
that, after having fallen into amatory passions, I was cured; and,
though I was often out of humour with Rusticus, I never did anything
of which I had occasion to repent; that, though it was my mother's
fate to die young, she spent the last years of her life with me;
that, whenever I wished to help any man in his need, or on any other
occasion, I was never told that I had not the means of doing it; and
that to myself the same necessity never happened, to receive anything
from another; that I have such a wife, so obedient, and so
affectionate, and so simple; that I had abundance of good masters for
my children; and that remedies have been shown to me by dreams, both
others, and against bloodspitting and giddiness...; and that, when I
had an inclination to philosophy, I did not fall into the hands of
any sophist, and that I did not waste my time on writers of
histories, or in the resolution of syllogisms, or occupy myself about
the investigation of appearances in the heavens; for all these things
require the help of the gods and fortune.
Among
the Quadi at the Granua.
(podcast episode) (original Greek)
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